Anvil Ministries E8: Fight Club Series- The Man
Below are the show notes, and should have the info you may want or missed when listening. Email me at David@AnvilMinistries.com and let me know what you think.
Fight Club Series Sponsor: Anthology.Church
Intro song: (Modified) “Corporate World” by The Dust Brothers
Hello, and Welcome to the Anvil Podcast E8!
We are near the end of our series on Fight Club. If you havnt already – Check out the episodes you missed.
Thanks for listening. Find Value. Listeners 15+
Learn more AnvilMinistries.com or follow us on FB or T @AnvilMen
This FC series is sponsored by Anthology Church.
Intro to Ep- This weeks episode we are continuing…
Lessons from the cult classic movie Fight Club.
So far in this series we’ve talked about – Memento Mori, the dangers of safe sanitized living, and Keeping up with the Jones’s. This week we are going to talk about The Man.
Before we get into the topic for today there is a challenge I have been asking you to do. That is to focus on one thing for the rest of this series. Or about 4 weeks depending on when you came into the PC.
One thing that you would like to change. One thing that is holding you back from living the life that God wants for you. Just one. If you have no idea what that one thing is, go back and E4. That should bring some clarity.
I hope you have been focusing on that over these next few weeks. Praying about it daily. Talk about it with others in your life, etc. As always you will only get out, what you put in here.
With that lets get into it…
You are who you want to be.
Today’s show is going to be a little different then our usual one. Today’s show is going to be a little more interactive. I am trying something a little new here, so let me know what you think. If you like it I’ll do more like these, if not, I’ll go back to more of what I have been doing.
Today’s topic is The Man. What I’d like to you do for a second is start thinking about the man you’d like to be. BE SPECIFIC. If you can write it down.
What kind of man would you like to be physically? Stronger? Bigger arms? Shoulders? Chest? How much would you like to bench? Or maybe your more of a calisthenics guy? You want to do 100 pushups? Or be more agile? Maybe you don’t care that much, just loose a few pounds, and feel a little better physically? It doesn’t matter to much, just that it is physically where you’d like to be. What do you look like? What kind of clothes do you wear? Would your work be any easier? Would playing sports be any easier? Maybe you don’t play any right now, but would you if you were exactly how you’d like to be physically? For those that are married, what would your wife think? Would your time in the bedroom be any different then it is today?
Take a second to really get that in your mind. Hold that for a sec as we move on to the next area.
What kind of man would you like to be mentally? Are you a smart guy? What if you were smarter? How would you like to be when it comes to your mind? What could you do if you were really on top of it mentally? Not foggy headed, or numb. How would it effect your work? How about your home life? And the other relationships in your life? How would they be if you were as sharp as a tack? Would you change careers? How would the relationships in your life be different?
How about emotionally? What kind of man would you like to be emotionally? How would you handle anger? How would you deal with depression, or anxiety? What about confidence, and self security? Or maybe your the kind of man that is emotionally numb. What would it be like to fully feel things like love, kindness, and compassion? What would your life be like if you had the full ability to feel, and also controll your emotions? How would it effect your relationships with others?
The last one is spiritually. What kind of man would you like to be spiritually? Would you like to be incredibly close and well connected to God? So connected that every action in your life reflects that you are one with the Father. Your relationship with Him could not be any better. You can easily answer spiritual questions that others have. Others look to you for godly wisdom, and advice. Your family is fully blessed by your complete, and excellent ability to lead them spiritually. What kind of man would you like to be spiritually? What does that look like? What does it feel like? How does it effect the lives of others around you?
As best you can, keep that, hold it, don’t lose it. Keep that man in your mind.
You see there’s something interesting that a lot of people don’t catch in FC, at least in the movie – There are 2 main characters. One played by Edward Norton, and one played by Brad Pitt.
At first glance, you’d assume that Edward Norton’s character is the main character, but upon closer inspection it is not that cut and dry. You see for the entire film he is never named. Even in the credits he is just called the Narrator.
BP’s character is Tyler Durden. It’s a very interesting theory to go back and watch the movie thinking that Tyler is the main character, and the Narrator is the sidekick.
In any case, they are one and the same, so it doesn’t matter too much in the end. What you have in them is this polar split of very different men, and over the course of the movie they become one, more importantly – realize they are one. They are the same man.
Everything they go through, they are the same person. It is almost always the Narrator looking up to Tyler, even sometimes with disgust. There is this huge conflict because the Tyler is everything that the Narrator wants to be deep down somewhere. Tyler doesn’t want to be like the Narrator, but knows that he needs him.
The end brings balance, and wholeness to the two men. Now I am not saying you should do the things in FC. Please don’t understand me there. But I hope you start to see the parallel I am putting together.
There is this HUGE difference between the characters, but they are the same. The Narrator is an observer of his life, not a participant. That’s why his name is the Narrator. He is small, and weak, and cowardly. He is a pushover, and has no strength. His entire life is empty and meaningless.
So many times in my experience working with men I find that most men live as the Narrator of their lives. So if that may be you, listen up.
If its not, and you are living as TD, hang in there. We’ll get to you.
Here’s what happens in FC with the Narrator-
Tyler initiates the Narrator through small challenges, and it brings him closer to Tyler type of character. He starts showing signs of strength, passion, leadership – Key here – without loosing his well grounded connection with reality, and compassion, and sanity.
You see if you are living life as the Narrator – Your ideal man is like your Tyler Durden. He has qualities you don’t think you have, or can have. In almost every case you can, because you are that TD character. That man you’d like to be is you.
When God made us, he never wanted us to be born into sin. That is what that ideal man is, you without sin in your life. Literally perfect. Sanctification is the process of becoming that man. Or as close to it as you can get.
That can be complicated, and if you stick around here, or get involved with Anvil, it’ll happen. That is how we find our strength as men through sanctification.
My point today is that your ideal man – that man you’d like to be, and Gods ideal man the man that He made – You are the same man. You are the same. This usually is hard to believe at first. Like at the end of FC the Narrator is running around all over the place, and cant believe it. When he begins to accept it, thats when he finds his strength. I pray it is the same for you.
Now if you’re not really sure what that means, or if you believe that – I’d invite you to check out our website to see a little bit more of what Anvil is all about. We are also completely funded on donations from people like you. So if you find some value in this, or in what Anvil is doing in the lives of men – Donate. $20 a month 18 months. Would make a huge difference in the work we are doing here.
Also if you are looking for a church in southern CA – check out-
Anthology Chuch – Great place in Menifee, CA. Newer church, so lots of opurtunities to get involved. For more info about Anthology Church check out their website Anthology.Church (not .com, or .org. .church)
You see, Anvil is not about teaching you how to be a man, it’s about helping you discover, and restore the man you already are.
I hope that God uses Anvil to start waking up that man that He made. I hope that through Anvil God gives you some practical tools and some things to bring restoration to your soul. After that I want Anvil to get out of your way, and get behind you with support, and help you as a man. To help you do your best to live that out, and do what God has called you to do.
All the crap you’ve been through – has tried to bury you, or has tried to destroy you, but it has also shaped you. The wounds we have taken as men are part of what make us who we are. Often times they are the trail marker on the path to where God has called us to use our strength. I think this is one of the many ways God shows His strength in our weakness.
When we are wounded, we know everything about that intimately. It gives us a unique perspective, that many others don’t have. It also usually gives us a passion for compassion of those with similar wounds.
Say for example you did a decent amount of time in prison. You filled your sentence, and changed your life around. You have a very unique perspective on how to really reach those in prison. More specifically what sent you there in the first place. In a very unique way, you can understand, and help others choose differently so they don’t make the same mistakes you did, or show them how you can recover after making a similar mistake.
And this applies to just about every would we have taken as men.
To restore and recover – you have to fight for it. You will not get it playing with (entertaining) yourself. It is not easy. There is a reason you have taken the wounds you have, and a reason you have to fight through it, and recover.
You see God is more interested in you building the muscles, and discovering the tools needed for the restoration, then just that specific restored piece of yourself. Because if just one part of you was restored with out any real work on your part, you don’t have the strength or tools for others.
Entertainment, self satisfaction, isolation, comfort, etc are NOT the path to becoming who you are. They have their place for times of rest, and relaxation, but as a lifestyle are the path to pain and separation and weakness.
Doing things that are hard, and uncomfortable, and sacrificial, and painful are the things that initiate us. They are the things that forge us as men. They show us that we have what it takes. So that it is not something that is just knowledge or belief, but something that you deeply know in your soul. Something that you have undeniable proven to yourself. That is where you can not just find your strength, but you can live it out.
So look for Gods leading in those things. Those little things that are difficult. The challenges, and things that will help you grow, and more importantly see and know that you are the man you’d like to be.
Now, for the men living as Tyler-
Tyler also goes through a transformation, albeit’s not as obvious as the Narrators. One of the keys with TD’s character is that he needs the Narrator. The Narrator grounds him, and gives him a real connection to the real world.
If you are living more like Tyler, without loosing your Tyler-ness seek the part of you that connects you to the good things in the Narrator. Things like selflessness, compassion, love, and the reality that is needed to live in the world, without being a part of it.
Take a look at the wounds you have taken, and the vow’s you’ve made as a result. Pray about the things that are missing in your life, and get together with some other men that can help. You are also the Narrator. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of that. Embrace it. You need it.
In either case – What is God calling you to that is…
The first part to becoming the man God wants you to be is believing that you are in fact that man. And here’s the paradox: you have to do the things that man does things in order to start seeing that you are that man — you have to do so you can believe.
If all you do is just listen to this podcast you life will never change. Change requires action. More specifically Different action then you have been taking (if any). If you want your life to be different, you have to start choosing differently. Make different choices is the only way to make things change in your life.
A great lesson my Dad taught me was this – “You can always tell how badly you want something by what you are willing to sacrifice to get it.”
So is this something you really want? It is going to require real change. It will be hard. It will be uncomfortable. But it will also be worth it.
I love practical teaching, and taking action. So here is something you can do this week to find your strength-
So what is it you need to start doing to merge the man you want to be and the man you are? They are the same man, but what does all that practically look like?
If you can close your eyes. Go back to what we talked about at the begining of the show. What does that man look like again? What does your Tyler look like? Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritually?
Now I have a couple of questions for you. Like I said earlier, the more you put into this, the more you will get out of it. Write these out if you can. I’ll give you a few seconds to do so. If you can’t, still do your best to answer them.
Here we go- Thinking about the man you’d like to be-
How does he act?
How does he approach problems?
How does he deal with Disappointments?
What is his routine? Habits?
How does he spend his time?
What is important to him?
How does he rest/relax?
Imagine him clearly. As if he is standing in in front of you, or beside you. There is nothing else.
Now before you open your eyes, I am going to ask you 4 last questions, answer them as reactively as you can. Try not to over think it. Do it out loud if you can. Don’t be embarrassed. This can be a HUGE step for you, don’t shy away from it. Remember I said it would be hard, and uncomfortable. Do it. You got this.
Alright here we go. Out loud. Don’t over think it. Don’t wuss out on me here.
#1 What is God calling you to do in your life right now that is…
Awesome. Great job for those of you that took that uncomfortable step. You just grew a little. So with those things, your answers – start praying about them, and start doing them and you will find your strength.
That wraps up our episode. I hope you found some value it, and took that awkward step. As always it is my honor serving you here. Our next episode we will finish our FC series with a special guest interview. You wont want to miss it. Also, be sure you catch any episodes you may have missed in this series and continue your journey with me here.
Keep in touch with us here at Anvil. Check us out at AnvilMinistries.com. Looks us up on FB, and Twitter @AnvilMen. Shoot me an email at David@AnvilMinistries.com, let me know what you think of the show. This show is only possible because of people like yourself supporting it. If you go to our website you can donate and help us impact the lives of men.
Know that I pray for you regularly. You know what I am going to pray for you right now. God, I ask that you would help us to see, and know that we are the men you made, just in a fallen state. Redeem us. Restore us. Sanctify us. Show us Your Strength in our wounds and weakness. Help us to find our strength, and take the steps needed today to move closer to you, and the man you made us to be. Thank You for for that. Amen.
Don’t forget you are God’s precious son. He wants great things for you. And loves you more then you will ever know.
Men – Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Continue to fight the good fight, and find your strength.
I am David with Anvil ministries. May your journey continue…